The underlying message became loud and clear, and formed a blueprint for life: If I just work hard enough and long enough, my life will turn out just fine — eventually – and it will all be worth it in the end.
Many of us do not fit or identify with the generation we are born into.
I’ve been thinking lately about a candy I used to get as a kid. It was called “Now & Laters,” and the little jingle was, “Have some now, save some for later.” It was actually a pretty dumb jingle, as I recall. But the idea has been rolling around in my head because I’ve been thinking about the conflicting messages we sometimes get.
I think we all have a touch of this learned helplessness, in some areas of our lives, and I also think we can overcome this learned helplessness in three very simple steps.
I’m very big into self-growth, and sometimes people ask me, as a professional coach and lifestyle mentor, how I can promote both self-acceptance and self-growth. If I accept myself, they say, I don’t need to grow, and if I need to grow, how can I accept myself?
o you spend a lot of time chasing the next big deal, the next big success? Some people call it the Big Score. You probably know exactly what I’m talking about when I say ‘Big Score’ because most of the movies these days are about some big score – some big challenge.
In real life, as opposed to movies, many of us are always chasing the next big score, but in reality most of us don’t catch it. I spent years as a financial trader, working ridiculous hours and, admittedly, making ridiculous money. But I was always living in the future. It was always going to be different and better. I was always going to get what I wanted when I got “there.”
If you wear glasses or contacts, or if you’ve ever seen someone put on a new pair of glasses, you understand that when you don new glasses, the world looks fresh and new. You notice things you’ve never seen before, and even though you may see flaws like dirty windows or cracks in the sidewalk, you are so excited just to see everything that you don’t even notice these imperfections.
Putting on new glasses gives you an automatic positive outlook. You may not have ever thought about it like that, but isn’t it true? Don’t you feel better about everything, all the time, for quite a while after putting on new glasses?
This from the New York Post:
“A hard-partying Wall Street trader and his ex-girlfriend are in court over an allegedly broken $100,000 promise to keep on the straight and narrow.”
According to disgruntled, but wealthier, girlfriend Elisa Kwon, her boyfriend offered more than a promise not to commit moral turpitude (depravity). Greg Calvino handed Kwon a check for $100,000 and instructed her to cash it is he used drugs, stayed out late, and/or patronized strippers or prostitutes.
What were these two thinking?
People often tell us “don’t complain, you’re lucky,”or say, in a derogatory tone, “What you are complaining about?”
Obviously, we’re complaining because things are not the way we want them to be. I think it’s important to pay attention to what we’re complaining about, and why, because what we’re complaining about tells us more about who we are, what we want and what we need to do than almost anything else in our lives.
If you’ve ever been told, “You can’t get there from here,” you may have thought that was a ridiculous thing to say. Of course you can. You can get anywhere from anywhere.
In the physical world.
But in the world of the mind, not so much sometimes. In seeking balance, happiness, and fulfillment, for instance, we often can’t go from the 80-hour work week to a reasonable, sane and balanced life, because those two worlds don’t exist on the same plane. We have to start making smaller changes, cutting back and doing more balanced, fulfilling, real things.
If you’re awake and aware in the modern world, you’re probably trying to change your life and your circumstances. That’s a luxury we have in our society. We have time to try to change ourselves as people, because we’re not spending all our time just trying to have enough food to get through the day.
With that luxury of the ability to change our lives comes a responsibility to try to be the best person you can be. I do believe that trying to improve ourselves is a responsibility, and that each of us has a duty to try to become our best.
Ok … you have all your productivity tools in place. You have a rock-solid time management system. You have a seemingly-workable plan. But something isn’t quite right. You feel that, now, more than ever, you’re being stretched beyond your limits.
Maybe what’s missing isn’t all the tools and techniques. Maybe it’s your strategy.
by David B. Bohl Let’s say you eat out at your favorite Chinese restaurant every Friday night. You have cashew chicken every Friday. Your spouse
When it comes to happiness – or enthusiasm, or friendliness – are Midwesterners different?
Positive Psychology is the most popular class at Harvard University, having enrolled 855 students last semester.
Are you astounded?
What attracts so many students to study happiness?
Is such a class really needed in today’s world?
by David Bohl We seem to spend a lot of time predicting what will make us happy (we call it daydreaming) and what will make
In a word – yes (if you’re part of the statistical average).
If happiness increases with age, does unhappiness increase as well?
Why do people experience greater happiness as they age?
Following are a few of the many myths about life balance. Overcoming these ways of thinking often takes time, but can be accomplished through simple paradigm shifts. Simply change a few basic, often long-held assumptions, and you’ll be well on your way.
I’ve talked and written many times about efficiency. As a result, I was intrigued by this comment over at lifehacker:
“My problem wasn’t that I was insufficiently efficient. The problem was
that I was way too overextended. I had taken on more than even a very
efficient person could handle. Efficiency is great, but it can only get
you so far.”
I understand the problem. Many of us find (or should I say “get ourselves into”) ourselves overextended, over strained, and overstressed at some point in our lives, maybe even at this very moment.
In these times, is the solution to our troubles that we need to be more efficient? I think not.
