Author, Speaker, Addiction & Relinquishment Consultant, Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE

You Can’t Get There from Here – Why Not?

“You can’t get there from here” is a statement that refers more to the mind than in the physical world; for example, you can’ work eighty hours a week and still expect to live a happy, balanced life, you have to cut back and do more balanced ‘real’ things.  Here are some of the things that you can do in order to achieve that: lower your expectations – aiming to high lowers the chances that we can achieve what we really want, go with the flow – even if things do go as were originally planned keep moving in the right direction, figure out what isn’t working – you may be used to things working in certain way, but make room for change because those ways may not be working, live in the now – don’t’ dwell on things that happened before and approach each situation freshly.  When we open our minds we are able to find new ways to solve old problems.If you’ve ever been told, “You can’t get there from here,” you may have thought that was a ridiculous thing to say. Of course you can. You can get anywhere from anywhere.

In the physical world.

But in the world of the mind, not so much sometimes. In seeking balance, happiness, and fulfillment, for instance, we often can’t go from the 80-hour work week to a reasonable, sane and balanced life, because those two worlds don’t exist on the same plane. We have to start making smaller changes, cutting back and doing more balanced, fulfilling, real things.

You can get there. From here, even. But you have to go through some preliminary stages first.

Here’s what you can do – starting now – to start getting where you want to be (taken from my article The Art of Changing Your Mind Before You Change Your Life):

1. Lower your expectations. — Believe it or not, when we aim too high we lower our chances for achieving the results we desire. It’s important to think big, but don’t stop at the dream. Practice the art of trimming and shaping your ideals into a feasible plan that works in the real world. Divide that plan into small, attainable goals that are grounded in practicality. Find ways to reward yourself for the progress you make over time.

2. Go with the flow. — Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your new and improved workstyle and lifestyle. If you’re unhappy, set some improvement balls in motion. If some things don’t go as planned, keep moving despite setbacks. Modify your plan according to what’s going on around you. Know that in remaining flexible, you’re more able to roll with the punches and come out on top.

3. Assess what isn’t working. — Sure, you may be used to doing things in a certain way. But indeed, that “way” might be heading in the direction of obsolete due to changing times and needs. Instead of operating on autopilot, approach your situation with a critical, objective eye. Ask yourself: what’s the problem here? What actions am I taking to try and remedy it? Are those actions working? If not, why, and what are my alternatives? What’s the next step in my plan for improvement?

4. Live in the now. — Most people have a habit of letting past circumstances color their actions. For example, if you recall that your coworkers reacted unfavorably to your suggestions in the past, you might feel less inclined to approach them in the future. Or, if you expect your husband or wife to respond to you in a certain way, you might try to “beat them to the punch” by being predictive about their behavior. This is a very limiting mindset that accomplishes nothing. Instead of dwelling in “what happened last time,” approach each situation fresh and see where your efforts take you.

If this were a business plan we might call this an exercise in “thinking out of the box.” Because it’s a holistic view of our actual everyday life as we live it, let’s call it “embracing a more expansive consciousness.” In doing something as simple as opening our minds, we are suddenly able to find new ways of solving old problems, and can develop new habits and attitudes that bring us closer to fulfillment in our everyday lives.

Thanks to success-is-in-you for including this post in the Blog Carnival for Success, and to Think Happy Thoughts for inclusion in the Happiness Carnival.

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