Focus on Change: Girlfriend Cashes $100,000 Check from Cheating Boyfriend

The only thing I can say, about this New York Post about Greg Calvino handing his girlfriend a check for $100,000 and telling her to cash it if he used drugs, stayed out late, and/or patronized stripper or prostitutes, is what were they thinking or rather what was Calvino thinking?  More than likely he had every intention of sticking to the promise he made his girlfriend but he probably didn’t develop the commitment & determination to change his behavior or habits because after a boy’s night out at a gentleman’s club Kwon cashed the check! Read on to find out what two things I think can be learned from this situation.This from the New York Post:

“A hard-partying Wall Street trader and his ex-girlfriend are in court over an allegedly broken $100,000 promise to keep on the straight and narrow.”

According to disgruntled, but wealthier, girlfriend Elisa Kwon, her boyfriend offered more than a promise not to commit moral turpitude (depravity). Greg Calvino handed Kwon a check for $100,000 and instructed her to cash it is he used drugs, stayed out late, and/or patronized strippers or prostitutes.

Kwon cashed that check after Calvino participated in a boy’s night out at a gentleman’s club.

What a mess.

I have one, and only one, question: What were these two thinking?

I have no way of knowing, but I can presume the following:

What was Calvino thinking? I am quite sure that, when he made that promise and wrote that check, he had every intention of keeping his word. He believed what he committed to with all of his head and all of his heart.

Where did he go wrong? We all know the saying “Easier said than done.” But what does this mean? Two things: First, Calvino didn’t develop the commitment and determination to change his behavior or habits. Second, he didn’t take the necessary and prolonged action necessary to change his actions over the long term. Third, he expected to change right then and there.

What was Kwon thinking? Again, I have no way to know for sure, but I can deduce that Kwon felt that she could somehow influence the behavior of Calvino. She thought she could change his ways. She thought she could transform Calvino into another person.

What can be learned from these two? Besides the facts that drug tests and instant message logs do not a trusting relationship make:

1. Change takes more than saying that we’re going to alter our lives – it takes commitment, determination, and action. It happens over time and it is incremental.

2. We have no control over people, places, things, and situations in our lives. It simply isn’t possible to manage everything in this world and in our lives. The sooner we identify what we cannot change, the sooner we’ll be able to accept the things beyond our control.

Thanks to Anything Goes and General News for including this post in the Anything Goes and General News 4th Edition Blog Carnival.