Focus on Change: Girlfriend Cashes $100,000 Check from Cheating Boyfriend

This from the New York Post:

“A hard-partying Wall Street trader and his ex-girlfriend are in court over an allegedly broken $100,000 promise to keep on the straight and narrow.”

According to disgruntled, but wealthier, girlfriend Elisa Kwon, her boyfriend offered more than a promise not to commit moral turpitude (depravity). Greg Calvino handed Kwon a check for $100,000 and instructed her to cash it is he used drugs, stayed out late, and/or patronized strippers or prostitutes.

What were these two thinking?

Going Back to the Well (Using What Works for You): Music Hath Charms to Sooth

How much do you listen to music? Do you listen more or less than you did when you were younger? Do you enjoy music? Do you have a favorite singer, a favorite group, a favorite song?

Many of us, when we were in college, listened to music to study because it “helped us concentrate.” But somewhere after college, a lot of us stopped listening so much. Maybe in the car. Maybe not. We don’t spend as much time with music on because we are too busy doing other things.

Why not dip back into that well?

What Are You Complaining About?

People often tell us “don’t complain, you’re lucky,”or say, in a derogatory tone, “What you are complaining about?”

Obviously, we’re complaining because things are not the way we want them to be. I think it’s important to pay attention to what we’re complaining about, and why, because what we’re complaining about tells us more about who we are, what we want and what we need to do than almost anything else in our lives.

A Daily Reminder for Us All: We Are Products of Our Choices

We all make choices, every day. Millions of choices, probably, every week, if you count things like which shoe to put on first and whether to drink water or cola.

Choice, after choice, after choice.

They add up and become who we are. And who we are influences new choices, which contribute to who we will be in the future, which influences new choices…

Stress – Avoid It, Reduce It, Manage It, or … Redefine It?

I hear people talk about “avoiding stress,” and I wonder if they know what they really mean by that. I think what they mean is that they want to cut down on the negative stressors and the negative energy in their lives, increase the positive energy, and live a calmer, more peaceful life.

But what they want is not to “avoid stress.” What they want, really, is to react less to negative stressors and have a more positive response to their lives. The want to experience no distress.

Avoiding stress is not a practical solution, really, because stress is not something that is.

A Virtual Day, Place, and Time – Re-examining My Perceptions of Reality

I’d like to share with you a photo of my family. It was taken this past June by an excellent photographer by the name of Jim Schoonover at Carroll Studios.

my-family-june-2007.jpg

Clockwise from the left you’ll see my son Andrew, my daughter Adrienne, my wife Vicki, me, and our two black Labradors Kobe and Bear.

To me, it’s a work of art – digital art. Not only was the picture taken on a digital camera, but it was also enhanced and altered on a computer. In the truest sense of the word, this photograph is an original creation.

Life Coaches Blog Column: The Art of Predicting Your Own Lasting Happiness

Can the achievement of happiness be predicted in any meaningful sense? Simply put, yes it can. If you have close (safe, nurturing, comforting) personal relationships and fulfilling work to do, and you know yourself and what you are about, you can predict that you will have enough good things in your life to bring you lasting happiness. No life is without conflict, pain or even moments of fear, but overall happiness counter-balances all the trials and challenges life hands you. If you have those things working in your life that generate a bone-deep level of happiness you have an automatic cushion against getting bounced on your ear by the unexpected.

Imperfection is Inevitable, But Pain is Optional – Temporarily Settling for Second Best

We often hear people say, “Don’t settle for second best.” But if we really look at our lives, I bet a lot of what we have around us is second best.

There are a lot of reasons we settle, and sometimes they’re good reasons, at least temporarily. The problem comes when we forget that this settling was temporary, and that we had something big planned for the future. We get stuck in our settlement, and can’t find our way out.

Gut Check: Don’t Analyze This Question (and Don’t Blink): Is Intuition Underrated?

Impossible to define, yet something that each and every one of us experiences, gut feelings are unique, personal experiences that we’ve been taught to be very wary of, especially in this day and age of instant, easily-accessible information.

But what exactly comprises a gut feeling?

Productivity Tools? Time Management Techniques? First You Need a Strategy: Slow Down FAST

Ok … you have all your productivity tools in place. You have a rock-solid time management system. You have a seemingly-workable plan. But something isn’t quite right. You feel that, now, more than ever, you’re being stretched beyond your limits.

Maybe what’s missing isn’t all the tools and techniques. Maybe it’s your strategy.

Most Popular Class at Harvard University? Happiness!

Positive Psychology is the most popular class at Harvard University, having enrolled 855 students last semester.

Are you astounded?
What attracts so many students to study happiness?
Is such a class really needed in today’s world?