Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE
Author, Speaker.

Unearthing Your Deepest Desires

istock_000005724765xsmall.jpgMany people go through life in pursuit of happiness and fulfillment, without ever having a clear picture of what those things mean to them. Each person has unique ideas regarding what constitutes happiness, based largely on that person’s individual values and past experiences. In order to be truly happy, you must first determine what it is that makes you content, fulfilled, and satisfied. Only then can you take steps to achieve your own personal state of happiness.

In order to determine what you want out of life to give you a sense of fulfillment or contentment, try the following exercises.

1. Find out Where You are Stuck

Ask yourself what aspects of your life make you feel like you are in a rut or that you feel need to be changed. In doing so, try to determine how long you have felt you were stuck in these particular habits, and ask yourself why you have not yet changed them.

xamine your feelings regarding change and how those feelings have affected your decisions. Many people fear change and would rather continue down an unhappy or destructive past than face the fear of the unknown. It is important to understand, though, that you cannot accomplish your goals without the existence of positive change. If change does cause you unease, try making small ones at first. Begin with changes that are simple, and allow yourself to gain confidence through them. This will allow you to build upon them and make greater changes towards achieving your ultimate goals.

2. Create Your Perfect Day

Determine what a perfect day in your world would look like. Take the time to write it down, in detail. Go ahead and dream, and create a vision that would constitute your ideal day. Then look at the current state of your life and take note of the differences. Find out what aspects of your reality are in contrast to your ideal.

Once you know what a perfect day looks like, write down ways you can come closer to achieving that day in the real world. Determine steps you can take to bring you closer to your idea of perfection. Make a plan of action to get you there.

In order to get your mind to help you make the necessary changes, write a short sentence that expresses your desire for change. Putting thoughts into words goes a long ways towards making them become a reality, and solidifies our resolve to achieve those changes. Every night before you go to bed, write that sentence in a notebook or journal.

3. Find a Word for Your Desire

If you had to express your deepest desire in only one word, what would it be? Write that word on pieces of paper and post them in conspicuous places, where you will see it often. These visual reminders go a long ways towards strengthening our resolve. Rather than a dream, that word becomes a goal, and you develop the strength and courage you need to make it a reality.
In order to reach your ideals, you first need to determine what you really want. Ask yourself what is going to make you truly happy. Then determine where you have gone astray in your life, and figure out which decisions you have made in your life that have carried you away from your life’s desires.

Many times we are deterred by the voice in our own heads telling us we are not good enough to have what we really want. In order to fulfill your dreams, you need to affirm your abilities to yourself. If you believe you can make it happen, you will experience great success.

lso realize that goals are something that can change with time. What makes you happy right now may not make you happy in twenty years. Take the time to re-evaluate your goals and desires, and adjust your life path accordingly. On a regular basis, take a look at your life and identify which of your actions are being done strictly out of habit, rather than because they serve to advance your progress toward your life goals. When you do identify habits that waste your time and do not serve any apparent purpose, take steps to transform those habits into positive, life changing actions.

Thanks to Tip Diva for including this post in the Carnival of Tips, and to The Change Blog for featuring this post in the Change Carnival.

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