Keeping Intimacy Alive in Your Relationship

When you are trying to keep up with the daily grind, it is sometimes easy to lose sight of the fact that you reap what you sow in your personal relationships. If it is intimacy you desire, you must first be able to inspire it. If you desire friendship, you must first be able to bestow it. If you seek equality and fairness, then those qualities must work both ways.

istock_000004764477xsmall.jpgRelationships are like flowers. They need sunshine and tending. They need to be looked after. They need attention. Without these things, the relationship will grow stale and wither away, like a flower dying on a vine.

As a relationship blooms, it becomes the priority in each person’s life. Both people put in the effort to make time for each other, to pay attention to each other, and to constantly let the other person know how much they care. There is tremendous happiness in each others’ company, and the relationship brings a great sense of fulfillment.

But as the relationship matures, the struggles of day to day life gradually creep back in, like weeds growing in the garden. At first they may not even be noticeable, but if left unattended, they can slowly take over and choke out the flower.

1. Take the Time for a Loving Gesture

Touching your partner is a powerful way to demonstrate your feelings. Hold her hand, massage his shoulders, or rub her feet after a long day. These small gestures are so easy to do, yet are overlooked by so many people. The power of touch releases tensions, develops closeness, and strengthens bonds. Touch not only leads to greater emotional intimacy, but is usually the precursor to greater physical intimacy as well.

2. Do Something Unexpected

Surprise gestures are the ones that are most remembered and engender the strongest feelings. Write a love note and slip it into your husband’s suit pocket, or take the time to tell him why you love him so much. Do a chore you normally do not do, pick up her favorite treat at the store, or dedicate a song to him on the radio when you know he will be listening (like during the morning commute). These simple surprises will not only boost both of your spirits the entire day, but they help keep those bonds between you strong.

3. Make Time for Each Other

Plan time together every evening. Even on the busiest of nights, make sure you spend at least a little time listening to each other’s problems, applauding each other’s triumphs, and reiterating how much you mean to each other.

Plan dates with each other. Just like when you first met, take the time to plan special evenings at a favorite restaurant. Try visiting new places, or see new sights. It can be so comfortable to slip into routines, which can become stale with age. Keep it fresh by adding something new to your life, and never stop exploring – together.
Remember to take the time to play, because life does not always need to be serious. In fact, it is far more fun when it is not taken too seriously. Remember to compromise with each other. You cannot have everything you want, and life would be so boring if you could. Be willing to try something new that your partner really would enjoy, even if you would not. Who knows – you might end up pleasantly surprised by the experience, and your partner will appreciate the gesture.

Self improvement includes maintaining the health of your relationship. Treat the special person in your life better than you would a stranger on the street. Always safeguard his trust and protect her feelings. Make your time spent together special, and be sure to pay attention to each others’ needs. Interlace your days together with loving surprises, words of kindness, and gestures that demonstrate your feelings for each other.

Nurture the relationship so that it continues to blossom with happiness and fulfillment. As you progress through life, and through your relationship, take time every day to tend to it. If you feel like it is withering, remember that it only takes a little water and sunshine to bring it back to life.

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