Where is the Love? Tips for Getting Back that Old Spark

Ever stop to look at your partner and wonder, “Where has all the excitement gone?” Healthy, committed relationships can sometimes lose their luster because we get too comfortable and fall into old routines. We take each other for granted and put our partners on the Low Priority list. But it doesn’t have to be that way!

Like anything worth having, good relationships take work. Fortunately, this kind of work doesn’t have to be grueling. In fact – once you get it going, you’ll find that rekindling the old flame is really pretty fun – no matter your age or how long you’ve been a couple.


Try something new together. Whether it’s salsa dancing or a cooking class, getting out of the house and experiencing new things with your partner will wake up a tired relationship. Even if you both make terrible dancers or cooks, you’ll reconnect along the way, have some laughs and fresh conversation topics, which is what’s important.

Examine your communication skills. Good communication is to relationships what water is to plants- vital! If you have difficulty in this area, start small and make a point to ask your partner what their plans are for the day, or how work was. They’ll appreciate your interest. If communication is already strong between you, keep it up and maybe even explore some new topics. What did you Google today that your husband or wife might find intriguing?

Surprise them often. Unexpected kindnesses, like preparing a favorite meal or a bouquet of flowers, sends them a message that they’re on your mind. Even something like tackling a task that you know your partner can’t stand doing – like folding socks or edging the lawn – really speaks volumes about your feelings. Thoughtful gestures mean even more at those times when your partner is feeling low and can use support.

Travel. Have you and your partner have always dreamed of flying to Tahiti? Stop talking about it and start planning your trip. If finances are an obstacle, open a savings account and save a set amount each month until you reach your goal. Or, plan a local weekend getaway. Usually there are fantastic places right in our own backyards – state parks, country inns, a nearby city to explore. Seeing new places together is a surefire way to bring excitement back into your lives.

Remember to put each other first. Always. Job stress, family obligations, household issues; these are just a few of the everyday things that take our attention away from the one we love. In the course of a week, most of us probably spend more energy worrying and working than enjoying our time with our significant other. Be sure to stop and smell the roses – together. In the end, those are the investments that yield the greatest dividends.

Thanks to Musings of a Thoughtful Conservative for including this post in A Waukesha Carnival, to Colloquium for featuring this post in the Carnival of Family Life, and to FitBuff.com for inclusion in the Total Mind and Body Fitness Carnival.

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