Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE
Author, Speaker.

How to Be a Survivor

by David Bohl

If you had a dime for every time someone told you, “life isn’t fair,” you might dethrone Warren Buffet from his seat as richest man in the world. Unfortunately, being aware of life’s inequities doesn’t prevent them. In fact, hardships are virtually guaranteed to occur — it’s just a matter of when and where. So, when disaster strikes, you usually have one of two options – crumble under the pressure or become a survivor. Survivors persevere, but perseverance may not come naturally.

To find out how to be a survivor, read this collection of characteristics of those who keep at it when life gets rough and apply them to your own life.

Ask Questions

Survivors don’t just sit back and let life happen to them. Even though they are in the midst of a breakdown, they use their intuition and ingenuity to pose questions about what is happening to them. And they aren’t simply asking, “why me?”. Survivors use questions to gather information about the situation they are in and how it can be resolved. They also ask questions to learn how to prevent problems from occurring in the future.

See Things in a Different Light

Have you ever been stumped by a brainteaser and decided to let the puzzle simmer in your brain and return to it later, only to come back and find that the answer was right in front of your eyes the whole time? In this same manner, it’s helpful to attempt to find new ways to solve old problems. Survivors don’t get burnt out trying to fit a square key in a circular lock. In other words, they don’t repeatedly try a solution that clearly isn’t helping to solve a problem. To become a survivor, you need to look at things from all perspectives in order to find the best possible resolution.

Be Flexible

think.jpgOne of the absolute pillars of being a survivor is being flexible. Most people are not expecting it when disaster strikes. Therefore, it might be necessary to change your plans to accommodate the new developments.

If you become stressed by the thought of altering your roadmap to life, you will only add to the difficulties that have already been presented to you. Instead, work hard to keep an open mind and bend, don’t break.

Plan Ahead

There is a difference between worrying and planning. Worrying does little to prepare you for future challenges. It only deprives you of the time spent fretting over impossible-to-predict scenarios. Planning, on the other hand, is a practice used by survivors to allow them to effectively handle hardships when they do occur. For instance, keeping a first-aid kit in your house is a positive way to be ready if someone gets hurt. Worrying about your child scraping her knees every time she leaves the house is not. Survivors certainly aren’t psychic, but their ability to make effective and quality plans in advance of trouble’s wake allows them to rise above the ashes when the flames have been put out.

Set Goals

Goal-setting is an excellent strategy that allows you to step back and view a situation from an outsider’s perspective. Survivors can remove themselves from what is happening to them and see things rationally, which allows them to make benchmarks for restoration. You can set goals for how to deal with current problems or how to handle them in future settings. The idea is that you use goal-setting as a tool to step out from behind the “victim” title and become someone who makes the most of what they’ve got.

There is no telling what sorts of trials and tribulations you will go through in life, but there are always options as to how you can deal with it when these trials occur. Perseverance may be difficult, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. To be a survivor, you must simply use techniques and tactics that allow you to tackle your problems effectively and with an eye to the future.

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