There is a lot of information coming at us. And now that so many of us are no longer going to work, we spend lots of time on-line, reading and absorbing so much more than we usually do. I tend to follow the news anyway, but lately, I’ve become wary of it, and not because I’m trying to avoid it (as many people have due to anxiety it causes). I’m wary of it because I don’t know whom to trust.
We see politicians make statements that they take back a few days later, we watch heads calling on experts who later get their stories debunked. We wake up not knowing if it will be okay to go outside today, if there will be any more closures, more laws or more law-breakers. In Italy, the use of drones has been approved to surveillance people, in the US and Canada, jails are releasing criminals back into communities. And now, more so than ever, we are bombarded with conspiracy theories—COVID-19 seemed to have unleashed not only a deadly disease but dangerous naivety and paranoia. Our trust is getting strained at such speed that it’s impossible to repair it as we’re hurled along.
At the same time,even with my balanced outlook on life, I find myself occasionally suspicious and conflicted. But I know I have to fight it, and I have to stay positive. Because of my early childhood trauma of having been adopted, I grew up with some trust issues. It took me a long time and a lot of inner work to learn to be accepting of the world and understand to use my sound judgment when dealing with an uncomfortable reality. This particular reality is extremely uncomfortable, but I welcome the test, as I believe I will get through it and it will make me stronger.
And that’s what I hope you can get from this experience if you’re struggling with the same thing—think of it as a test, and one that will end. Many of us have been wounded. Many of us have survived and thrived in recovery. And even though this world-wide disaster/pandemic can unbalance even the healthiest mindset, we can’t let it. Yes, it is all quite scary and challenging to absorb, but we must live with the hope that things will improve. If we can’t trust the news any more, then lets at least trust that this will get better. No pandemic lasts forever, and we will get our lives back.
I know for me recovery wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t have a tiny sliver of belief that I would succeed. I had to fight my trust issues and instead trust the process. And I’ve learned something important about myself, which I think many of us are learning now. I actually loved life! I didn’t want to die of my predicament (addiction). I wanted to be a part of this world. After all, I must’ve loved life if I wanted things to change so badly.
Right now, all of us are struggling. Some are more fortunate than others in our homes. Some are extremely challenged without having a home to stay in. Some are sick or have sick loved ones. I don’t think anyone is unaffected at this point. But we’re all striving to survive, and we must trust that we will. This is the only kind of trust worth having at this point. Remember: despair erodes hope, so let’s socially distance from despair as far as we can.
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