Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE
Author, Speaker.

Conflicting Desires: Knowing That We Have Enough vs. Always Wanting to Better Ourselves

From childhood most of us are taught that we should work towards bettering ourselves. Sometimes we get so caught up in this little fact that we find ourselves thinking the more I have the better I am. It’s important that you don’t find yourself falling into that head trap! Here are some tips to help you stay on track.

From a very early age most of us are taught that we should always work towards bettering ourselves – through education, through our careers and through our family. For many people, the drive to succeed is part of who they are and there is no doubt about it, that trait can be very beneficial to them throughout their lives. Yet, at some point in our lives many of us seem to wander off the path of leading a successful, fulfilled life and fall into the trap of always wanting to do more, earn more, or get more. We lose track of those life goals we have set for ourselves and instead we get caught up in the mind trap of “the more I have, the better I am!”

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So how do we make sure that we are always working to better ourselves but also know when to say that “enough is enough” in our life? How can we lead a happy, fulfilling life without wandering from our life goals and getting trapped in an endless cycle to “Keep up with the Jones’s?

Being grateful for, accepting of, and happy and fulfilled with where we’ve been, where we are at and where we are going.

The first step to resolving this conflict is to look at our lives as they stand today and where we have been and where we are going. All too often we say to ourselves “If only I had done X instead of Y”. We form this false belief that things could be so much better in our lives if we only had done things differently. We fail to focus on the good things in our life, the people around us and the lasting friendships we have formed.

Appreciate where you are and how you got there. You may not be the richest person in the neighborhood, but did you ever stop to think that perhaps you are the richest when it comes to family life? Know that you have achieved a lot to get where you are and appreciate those that helped you get to where you are today – your parents, your family and friends.

Focus on where you are going and set up your milestones to success. Having a clear roadmap of where you want to go will help you achieve your life dreams and goals in ways you never thought you could!

A Better Life Doesn’t Mean Having More

Today, we live in a world where the word “better” has come to mean “more”. So many people think that their lives will only get better if they have more – more sports cars, more diamonds, and more money. Yet, this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Having more is not going to make you happy. In fact, many studies have been done over the years that show that those who suddenly come into “more” are often worse off five years down the road than they are now.

So how can we lead a better life? It starts with redefining the word “better”. Leading a better life means having a passion in life – what do you enjoy and what are your goals in life? Once you know what your passion is then you can take steps to make it happen. Your passion in life can be anything – there is no wrong or right answer. For some people it is grow a beautiful garden, for others it may be to earn that PhD they always wanted. Find your passion in life and you will truly live a better life.

Find Happiness in Your Life

How do you find true happiness in your life? It’s almost a magical formula that once you discover the correct ingredients to it can really change your life. First, challenge yourself. Many people get up every morning without challenging themselves in some fashion. Challenge yourself to read more, volunteer more, explore more, learn more, smile more – whatever you can think of that you would like to do, challenge yourself to do it! Challenging ourselves helps awaken the inner tiger that lurks within us and gives us a mission, a purpose for each day.

In the same vein, experience new things – explore life because life is too short not too. Don’t be afraid to try something new and exciting. Take that trip to Egypt, or go skydiving with your friends. You will discover such a wonderful world outside your house that your mind and body will be filled with an untold joy and happiness. Never stop learning or experiencing new things – for when you do, then you are truly dead.

By following these simple steps you can know when your life has enough balance to keep in it line with your life goals and desires. You’ll also be able to better recognize when you have wandered off the path of your life’s roadmap. In the end, you may also discover that what has been missing from your life is not desire – but the ability to take the necessary action to make those desires come true.

Thanks to The Next 45 Years for including this in the Personal Development and Happiness Carnival, to Life Insurance Lowdown for featuring this in the Carnival of Life, Happiness, and Meaning, to E3 Success Systems for inclusion in the Carnival of Success Principles, to Money Changes Things for including this in the Ethics, Values, and Personal Finance Carnival, and to Money and Values for featuring this post.

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