Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE
Author, Speaker.

The Secret to Getting Everything You Want: Just Ask!

In their amazing book The Aladdin Factor, bestselling authors Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen claim that the secret to getting everything you want is to just ask. There are many reasons people don’t do this. They sometimes don’t realize that’s all they have to do–it seems too easy. Or they don’t know what to ask for. If you’re not exactly sure what you want, then you won’t know what to ask for. We don’t know what’s available, so we don’t ask, or we think it’s not available to us. Maybe we feel it’s out of our reach.

istock_000006175136xsmall.jpgWe also don’t know what we don’t know, so when going after a goal, we are sometimes clueless as to what resources are available. Or maybe we ask one person and they say no, or they don’t know and we stop there. A good question to ask when that happens is, “Who do you think might know?” Then you can keep going and ask others for help.

Sometimes we don’t know how to ask. Should we be tactful or direct, how do we get through gatekeepers, should we call or email, what is the best offer of value to get the information we want? Maybe we have asked before and been rejected so we’re reluctant to risk again.

Or we fear looking stupid, being humiliated, embarrassed, obligated, or unworthy. Maybe we fear looking weak or needy, or in the case of many men, their pride gets in the way. You know the common joke about men not asking for directions.

There are many ways to ask, benefits to asking, and reasons to ask. For a full picture of the best information on the subject read The Aladdin Factor. Here are a few things you can ask for that will aid you in getting more of what you want:

1. Ask for the business. When you are in business for yourself or are in sales, you need to ask for the business to get it. Sometimes a customer will be eager and give you the sale. Usually, though, when you’re negotiating to close a sale, all you have to do is ask: Would you like to pay by check or PayPal? Would you like to set up our first session on Tuesday or Wednesday? How would you like that shipped?

2. Ask for information. There’s something you need to know that will help you will your goals. Maybe it’s the best way to set a goal, or design an action plan, or stay accountable to your daily actions. Maybe it’s how to track your progress or what to do when you hit obstacles. Find the people who’ve done it before you. They are usually most willing to share the secrets of their success.

3. Ask for directions. Besides street directions, how about asking how that appliance or new software works. How do I download my iPod? How can I load that photo onto my Facebook profile? Online there are tutorials to answer our questions, and there are people who have more expertise than you and are willing to explain what you need to know. Ask for directions so you can get on with your quest to get what you want.

4. Ask for support. You could do it alone, but it’s not as much fun or as effective. Who could you ask for support as you go after your goals? A good friend, someone who’s achieved the same goals, a coach? Coaches will hold you accountable for your actions and help you overcome obstacles.

Thanks to Working at Home on the Internet for including this article in the Working at Home Blog Carnival.

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