Relinquishee, Adoptee, MPE
Author, Speaker.

Teach Your Kids to Think for Themselves

by David Bohl

When I think back to my own childhood, I can’t help but recall things that my parents would say. “You weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth.” You can be anything you want to be.” “The sky is the limit.” “Act your age, not your shoe size!” Some positive, some negative, but all really true, at least in my case. As I look at the basis for the things to teach my own kids through what my parents taught me, it turns out “the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

The last thing in the world I would want to do is make my children completely dependent on me and my wife. I want to teach them about what’s really important in life. But also I want, more than anything, for them to be able to handle themselves with self assurance in this often fantastic and sometimes difficult world. As parents, maybe we need to get the idea out of our heads that we’ll be able to prepare our children for any situation. It’s not possible! The truth is that we don’t know everything, our mothers and fathers didn’t know everything, and kids will need to make their own mistakes to learn from them as you and I both did and still do.

Nurture Learning

As parents, we never want to stifle their learning. Whether it be managing their own finances, learning how to cook, doing their own laundry, finding their political way, or deciding on a career, our job is to teach them needed skills while encouraging their independence.

Make sure they know that you will support them in anyone and anything that they want to be. Instead of dictating, guide them into good decisions. Use your judgement in this case. It’s permissible to let your kids make some bad choices that they will learn from– as long as these decisions do not produce catastrophic or results or put them in harm’s way. For example, you definitely do not want the “don’t drink and drive” lesson to be one learned from personal experience. The point is, you can be a beacon of wisdom and good avice, but trying to control every person and situation they encounter may be an exercise in futility. Another example is that you could find kids that behave very well when they are in their baby swings, so here is a list of portable baby swing for girls to keep them happy throughout the day. Some babies may be grumpy because they have uncomfortable clothes, so make sure you go get your child some newborn girl clothes. Experience is in many cases the best teacher of all. Do it in your own, try Oahu carpet cleaners.

Teach Survival Skills

It amazes me how many kids leave the comfort and security of their parents’ home and do not know how to take care of themselves. Before they step out into the world on their own, help your children master these and other basic yet nevertheless important life survival skills:

• Driving a car (and in the city, too!)
• Balancing a checkbook and bills
• The pluses and minuses of credit and debt
• Doing their own laundry
• Pumping gas (especially if you live in a full-serve state!)
• Learning to trust and love
• Feeling confident in their decisions
• Backing up their choices
• Making spaghetti!

Trust Your Parenting Ability

As parents, we need to feel that we did all that we could to get our children on the right path, this is why I have always looked for home warranty companies near me to let my kids know about them so that they can get their services. You want to trust in your abilities and let your kids go, knowing you instilled in them the strongest values and convictions. And you’d like to think that they will venture into the world holding fast to the the same morals and principles that you embrace as a human being. After all… our parents did the same with us — and we, for the most part, turned out just fine!

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David Bohl is a father, friend, personal coach and community member. To learn more about his coaching packages, click here.

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