How to Change “Why” into “Why Not?”

sky.jpg“With positive internal dialogue, we can create self-power.”

~ Deepak Chopra, The Spontaneous Fulfillment Of Desire

Unfortunately one of the most common phrases in our language is “I can’t.” People say, “I can’t be that,” “I can’t do that,” and “I can’t have that” more often than they realize. And more often than they would if they knew how it kept them from being open to the possibility for more in their lives.

The more you look for reasons WHY you “can’t” be, do, or have what you want, the more you limit your chances for WHY NOT? Why not be the way you want to be? Why not do what you want to do? Why not have what you want to have?

Do you really know the answer to those questions? The answer is: because YOU say so! Only you limit what you can be, do, and have. Only you and your limited thinking, your limited attitude, your limits on what you think is possible are holding you back.

When I coach my clients who are stuck in their limits, I offer then some tools on how to change their why’s into why nots. Here are some ideas you might experiment with to become more positive, to shift your viewpoint, and to take control of your life–so it is the life YOU want!

1. Get clear about what you want.

What do you really want to be, do, and have? Clarity is power and the more clear you are about what you want, the more you can be, do, and have what you want. Let’s say you want to start a home-based business doing career coaching for early retiring baby boomers. Now that’s pretty clear. If you are surrounded by naysayers, or you’re a naysayer yourself, you’ll come up with reasons WHY you can’t do it. The kids will be a distraction, you need start up capital, you don’t know where you’ll find clients. To shift into the WHY NOT mode, imagine yourself successfully helping people independently as you did in your previous corporate jobs. See yourself at home working with no distractions, having people call you every day to help them. When you see the clear picture of your goal accomplished, you can more easily step into it.

2. Get support, ask others.

There are plenty of other people who are being, doing, and having what they want. Have you asked them how they got there? Do they complain about WHY they can’t do things? Or do they have a WHY NOT attitude? When they hit obstacles, do they go around them? When they have setbacks, do they re-group and learn from their missteps? When they don’t know how to do something, do they get educated or ask someone who knows? A really quick way to change your why’s into why nots is to have a mentor, coach, guide, teacher, or partner. Others have walked the path you are seeking and most will be thrilled to pass on their secrets. They’ll even support you by catching you in your “I can’ts” and remind you why you can!

3. Make a list.

I don’t know about you, but I love lists. They help me put everything into perspective and get a good look at what’s what. Where am I and where do I want to go? What’s in my way, either in reality or in my mind? I coach my clients to list the pros and cons of whatever they’re stuck with. Why can’t I have my home-based business? Too much distraction, not enough capital, no client connections… Why not have my home-based business? I can use the extra bedroom and close the door, I can take a small business loan, I can network in targeted organizations… When you look at your lists, you’ll start to see the limits are made up in your mind. When you adopt the “why not” go ahead and do this anyway attitude, you’ll see that there are solutions to every imagined problem–after all, they aren’t based in reality, only your imagination.

4. Practice affirmations and visualizations.

In my experience, as well as that of many accomplished personal growth practitioners like Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer, affirmations and visualizations are two powerful tools to shift anyone’s mindset–at least if they’re ready to shift! An affirmation is a positive statement. If you have been saying, “I can’t start a home-based business,” your affirmation to change that thought or belief would be “I can start a home-based business.” Because the truth is you can, and anyone can. Your visualization would be to see yourself waking up each morning, and walking into your home office, answering emails, setting appointments, etc. See your peaceful, organized work environment, see lots of satisfied clients, and see your bank account growing. Combining affirmations with visualizations for just five minutes a day will help you change your why’s to why nots.

5. Shift your focus.

If you are a “glass half empty” thinker, it’s time for you to shift your focus to the “glass half full.” This takes a conscious choice, but it’s nothing more than changing a habit. And thinking the worst is a habit that can be changed like any other habit into thinking the best. Some authorities say it takes 21 days of focus to change a habit. I believe it takes as long as it takes, often less, sometimes more. Just know that any habit CAN be changed–if you want to change and if you do the practice. Is it worth it? You bet it is! As you approach life with your new “why not” attitude, nothing will ever again be beyond your reach. And you will live your life being, doing, and having all that you desire.

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Thanks to Widow’s Quest for featuring this article in the Carnival of Positive Thinking, to Rich Life Carnival, and to Insight Writer for featuring this post in the Carnival of Personal Development.

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